is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
