And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
