do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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