You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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