At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
