mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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