i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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