did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
