But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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