this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
