so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
