Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
