U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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