the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize