I want to stick my p in your. b.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
