Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize