YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
