11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
