woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
