if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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