im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
