quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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