best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize