I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
