I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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