I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
