It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
