NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
