belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
