I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
