Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Randomize
