We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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