her vagine was all disorganized.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
