He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
