I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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