Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
