stop calling my apartment porn island.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
