Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
