This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
