Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
