Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
