Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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