dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
