Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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