my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
COCAINE IS GR8
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
