STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
