i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
