Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
