Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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