the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
