I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
