We won't sleep together?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
