who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
