My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
