dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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