A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
