she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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