i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You're earring is so big in my mouth
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
