Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
thus making me awesome and them whores
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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