we have pet lesbian snakes
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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